so...

i deleted my truth box but not before i read my truths since ive never read them before


i got one that made me cry and i dont know what to do about it


it said "i really hope you dont make chamber singers because youre really fucking annoying"

even though i made chamber it really hurts that someone took the time out of my day to say something like that

and whats more they said it before call backs

thank GOD i didnt see it then...i dont know what i wouldve done if i saw it before call backs

and to know that there is someone out there in chamber right now that really feels that way

and i'll never know who that person is

i'll be damned...

...if what im thinking is actually reality

i could be looking too far into this

besides his is really cool

thats why i love him :)

but that would make me angry/jealous/hurt

but alas what can you do

we'll just wait


love and stuff,

B.A.J

william terrence fitzgerald!

saturday was fun


is that all you need to know?

no?

must you have details?

fine


so the original plan: J.A.K (james anna kelsey) hang out all day in corona on friday

james has to pick up a shift for someone at chili's

fun day changed to saturday

james invites markis and alissa

james invites danny

what to do?

movies

the mummy?

"eh not really" --Anna

mamma mia

"fuck no" --Danny

dark knight?

"ive seen it" --everyone

BEACH

planned

wake up saturday morning

"blah blah blah stuff later" --Anna

"blah blah blah stuff happening"--Kelsey

anger/frustration/demand to have my way

anna kelsey and danny come for a lil bit to hang out then kelsey and anna leave and james markis and danny go to beach

plan

executed

happy james

drive to newport beach

siren

"am i seriously being pulled over?"--James

"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policewoman

ticket given

siren

"are you serious??"--everyone

"do you know why im pulling you ever?"--Policeman

"no"--james

"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policeman

"but i just got one"-- james

"really? from this city?"-- Policeman

"yupp"-- James

"oh ok you can go then"-- Policeman

BEACH!

the wedge

big waves

body surfing

wave steals lissas shirt

haha

tired

hungry

wet

sandy

back to corona

change

diamond bar

chilis

alissa bday?

kill stephanie?

sing happy birthday

glendora

the hat

ugh

KERMIT THE FROG!

lets leave

drive around the glendora/covina/azusa area

in a circle

scary movies

12:30am

"im tired"--Danny

take him home

back to corona

I LOVE YOU! speech given

talk for a lil while longer

exhausted

bed

ophelia marie gonzales

love and stuff,

B.A.J

i want to fall in love

i realize ive never really truly been in love and i want to know what it feels like

i see it all around me all the time

i see the things that people that are in love do

i hear what they say

i want to do those things

to say those things

to hear those things said to me

i want to fall in love

i want someone to fall in love with me

im tired of waiting

...and every road i walk will take me down to the sea...

so...idk...i just kinda wanted to blog...about anything/nothing


i finally got a response out of sydney


she still loves me and wants to hang out next week


i guess she just stays busy with school (she was in summer school at RCC)

i cant blame her

i should be as busy as she is

but i guess im not as desperate to get out

i have some good things going for me

chamber singers being first and foremost

and stephanie being high up on that list

i love her/she needs me/she loves me/i need her

anyways

i feel like im going the right pace for me

fast is the right pace for some people

slow and steady is gonna win this race though

i feel like im doing exactly what i need to do to be successful

"why?" one might ask "why is this exactly what you need to do to be successful"

katie finaldi

she is my example

its not hero worship

though she did say once that i have a "problem" with that

she wants to do exactly what i want to do with my life...she's just several steps ahead of me...age does that

so im using her as an example and im taking her advice...which is why im at mt sac...which is how i got into chamber

so...no...not hero worship...just following her example...its a good example

i do respect her a lot

she demands it without demanding it

she gets it from me for who she is

for who she is becoming

no matter what some people might say about her...they dont really know her...does anyone really though??

ive known her for a lil over 5 years and i cant even say that i KNOW her

idk

ramble ramble blah blah blah


love and stuff,

B.A.J

my frustration

i am a humongous flirt...i may not always no when im flirting with someone because it just happens naturally but i do know when im being flirted with

so if your straight/taken...and have no intention of making good on your flirtation...DONT FLIRT WITH ME!...it gets annoying when i get my hopes up and you let me down

if i wasnt so tired i would cry...

...im even too tired to post this blog

so here's the gist of it:

one of my very first friends of high school was a lovely girl by the name of Sydney Noelle Dever

we stayed best friends all throughout high school

she went to uci, i went to mt sac

and we havent seen each other since

goodnight i think i might die from exhaustion


love and stuff,

B.A.J