i didnt get the student conductor position...it sucks but what can you do
i have to focus on the good things in life
1. i am gonna be the tenor section leader for concert choir
2. i have some amazing new friends already
3. i dont have to pay for my own gas anymore...thank GOD and mom and shannie
4. im effing sarah reilly...oh wait...nevermind (inside joke...dont try to get it)
5. im in chamber singers!!!!!
its still gonna hurt a lil bit when he announces it and i get to see the looks of shock on everyone's face and get the sympathy and crap
i just have to remember those five things...plus all the other blessings that GOD has given me...and everything should be just fine :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
my current situation
well the new year has finally started and i'm so excited!
im finally getting things together academically as far as the classes i need to take to transfer. its gonna take me longer than i anticipated but im in no way in a rush to leave mt sac
im finally in chamber singers and i want this feeling to last forever
ive met some amazing new people: katy, amanda, and the sarahs, and gotten to know some of the old ones better :)
we found out that were going on tour to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall!! woot! im so excited cuz i was just thinking to myself about how amazing it would be to sing at carnegie hall with the chamber singers and now its actually going to happen!! and whats more concert choir is coming with us so that means JAK and BEE get to come too!!!
from NY were heading to DC for a concert there and then from there to Maryland to see Katie and do an exchange with her choir out there
all in all this is going to be a rather exciting year!
however, there's always one thing to ruin excitement
i want to be student conductor for concert choir
according to the rules of being a student director for a mt sac choir you have to have passed Mr. Rogers conducting course the semester before
i was the only RETURNING member that took the course...and i passed with an A
however it has come to my attention that a former concert choir member who is also in chamber singers is also up for the position. He was in conducting with me last semester as well as concert choir but he was only in concert choir because he HAD to be and is not enrolled in concert choir now.
it has also come to my attention that Mr MacIntosh (the director of concert choir) has been pressuring this person to join concert choir so that he can have the student director position.
this person does not necessarily want to do it...he already has an assistant director position at his old high school and he doesnt even like concert choir to begin with.
he could of course give in to Macs pressure and take the job, but my hope is that he will realize that there are other people who actually want it...who have indeed sacrificed certain things in order to have the position...and hopefully Mac will see that too
im finally getting things together academically as far as the classes i need to take to transfer. its gonna take me longer than i anticipated but im in no way in a rush to leave mt sac
im finally in chamber singers and i want this feeling to last forever
ive met some amazing new people: katy, amanda, and the sarahs, and gotten to know some of the old ones better :)
we found out that were going on tour to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall!! woot! im so excited cuz i was just thinking to myself about how amazing it would be to sing at carnegie hall with the chamber singers and now its actually going to happen!! and whats more concert choir is coming with us so that means JAK and BEE get to come too!!!
from NY were heading to DC for a concert there and then from there to Maryland to see Katie and do an exchange with her choir out there
all in all this is going to be a rather exciting year!
however, there's always one thing to ruin excitement
i want to be student conductor for concert choir
according to the rules of being a student director for a mt sac choir you have to have passed Mr. Rogers conducting course the semester before
i was the only RETURNING member that took the course...and i passed with an A
however it has come to my attention that a former concert choir member who is also in chamber singers is also up for the position. He was in conducting with me last semester as well as concert choir but he was only in concert choir because he HAD to be and is not enrolled in concert choir now.
it has also come to my attention that Mr MacIntosh (the director of concert choir) has been pressuring this person to join concert choir so that he can have the student director position.
this person does not necessarily want to do it...he already has an assistant director position at his old high school and he doesnt even like concert choir to begin with.
he could of course give in to Macs pressure and take the job, but my hope is that he will realize that there are other people who actually want it...who have indeed sacrificed certain things in order to have the position...and hopefully Mac will see that too
Saturday, August 23, 2008
i was gonna wait for 3 months...
...and then i told myself and you that i gave up
turns out i havent
ive been waiting for 6months
whats gonna happen now?
turns out i havent
ive been waiting for 6months
whats gonna happen now?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
im gonna say it again and this ones for you
i will NOT just tell you what you wanna hear
im gonna bring you back down whether you wanna hear it or not
hang up on me all you want to
be angry
but im not gonna back down because you dont wanna hear it
you wanna end it now?
ok then
it'll hurt but i'll get over it
you wanna stick with the plan and be best friends and help each other out throughout the year
good
nothing will make me happier
i'm sorry if i offended you...that was not my intention
ok i think im done
im gonna bring you back down whether you wanna hear it or not
hang up on me all you want to
be angry
but im not gonna back down because you dont wanna hear it
you wanna end it now?
ok then
it'll hurt but i'll get over it
you wanna stick with the plan and be best friends and help each other out throughout the year
good
nothing will make me happier
i'm sorry if i offended you...that was not my intention
ok i think im done
Saturday, August 16, 2008
im awake now...and next week cant come soon enough
my attempt to sleep away what was bothering me only worked for about two hours, now im probably gonna end up staying awake for the rest of the night...great...just what i need when i have to get up for work in the morning
i really need school to start, like ASAP
im tired of being shut up in this hole
i miss my friends
i miss singing/choir
i miss steph and laurens apartment...even though they dont live there anymore
i miss katie...even though she wont be there anymore
i miss mr mac :)
i just need to get out of here
i really need school to start, like ASAP
im tired of being shut up in this hole
i miss my friends
i miss singing/choir
i miss steph and laurens apartment...even though they dont live there anymore
i miss katie...even though she wont be there anymore
i miss mr mac :)
i just need to get out of here
Thursday, August 14, 2008
i have an announcement to make
im changing my tactics
so if you only want someone to tell you what you wanna hear then i suggest you dont come to me
cuz im gonna tell you like it is
deal with it or peace out
so if you only want someone to tell you what you wanna hear then i suggest you dont come to me
cuz im gonna tell you like it is
deal with it or peace out
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
omg i miss it sooooo much
i miss working at disneyland
it was pretty much the best job ever
and because of some weird technical crap that...again...was not my fault
i cant go back
cuz if it wasnt for the weird technical crap i would so be back there in october
say im weak if you want to but YOUVE never worked there and you dont know how amazing it is
i miss it
it was like my life
maybe i can find a way around the weird technical crap
it was pretty much the best job ever
and because of some weird technical crap that...again...was not my fault
i cant go back
cuz if it wasnt for the weird technical crap i would so be back there in october
say im weak if you want to but YOUVE never worked there and you dont know how amazing it is
i miss it
it was like my life
maybe i can find a way around the weird technical crap
oh burning nipples :)
today was absolutely amazing!
alissa, markis, therese and sara(h) arrived at my house at about 12 to start our day of beach funness
as i get ready to leave they all get acquainted with shantell and wendy who were in the garage getting high...joy
apparently reesie and sara enjoy getting high too, as well as markis
so they each take a puff out of shantell's pipe before we leave
"you take a puff too moon" --Wendy
"No" --Me and Shannie
so afterwards we head to albertsons where we spot kristin's father, richard long, and matt, who works there
sarah graciously pays for me and markis' snacks, therese pays for lissa's
and on to the beach we go
when we get there we do the usual beach things
swim, body surf, nap, walk, take pictures, and of course...look at boys
oh the boys were particularly good today...if your lucky i'll show you a picture :)
after about 5 hours we head out, making another stop at the local albertsons where therese gets some medicine of some sort (advil? benedryl?), i use the bathroom, and sara changes
on the way out the most amazing thing happens
"markis you might wanna be on this side of the wall" --Therese
"why?"--Markis
"just do it!"--Therese
so as markis changes sides of the wall and sarah and i are exiting the store a parade of about five or six shirtless beauties walk in, o--phelia
the best looking of which bumps inton me, makes eye contact, and apologizes (lissa just got eye contact and a smile, i totally win, no matter what the random lady says)
great success!
from there we drive around looking for any random in-n-out to eat at and somehow end up at the block in the oc, by this time therese and sara have begun using a british accent
after walking around for a tad we find ourselves in the big vans store with the skate park in it
we stay to watch the skaters fall for a while the decide its time to eat
we end up in carls jr and as we eat we explain to sarah, a native texan, the joys of being a californian in socal
and therese decides she wants to get her lips pierced
**nods head** "I do not want to be an accomplice in this" --Therese immitating her cousin Desi
after looking unsuccesfully for a place in the block to achieve this we decide to find it somewhere else
by this time we're ALL using british accents, except markis, whos using a french accent
as we walk to the car we get stopped by two random guys who are in a band, we buy a five dollar cd to support the local band...the cd was crap
after driving around for about 20 minutes, singing loudly to people on the street, we find a random tatoo place in cypress? garden grove? ktf
still using our british/french accents, we tell the man that therese wants her lip pierced
great success!
$40 well spent indeed
no drinking, smoking, making out, or blow jobs for a while :)
as we drive home we decide to yell random things out of the window at people we see on the street...the best being "MY NIPPLES ARE BURNING!!"
it was a great night
love and stuff,
B.A.J
alissa, markis, therese and sara(h) arrived at my house at about 12 to start our day of beach funness
as i get ready to leave they all get acquainted with shantell and wendy who were in the garage getting high...joy
apparently reesie and sara enjoy getting high too, as well as markis
so they each take a puff out of shantell's pipe before we leave
"you take a puff too moon" --Wendy
"No" --Me and Shannie
so afterwards we head to albertsons where we spot kristin's father, richard long, and matt, who works there
sarah graciously pays for me and markis' snacks, therese pays for lissa's
and on to the beach we go
when we get there we do the usual beach things
swim, body surf, nap, walk, take pictures, and of course...look at boys
oh the boys were particularly good today...if your lucky i'll show you a picture :)
after about 5 hours we head out, making another stop at the local albertsons where therese gets some medicine of some sort (advil? benedryl?), i use the bathroom, and sara changes
on the way out the most amazing thing happens
"markis you might wanna be on this side of the wall" --Therese
"why?"--Markis
"just do it!"--Therese
so as markis changes sides of the wall and sarah and i are exiting the store a parade of about five or six shirtless beauties walk in, o--phelia
the best looking of which bumps inton me, makes eye contact, and apologizes (lissa just got eye contact and a smile, i totally win, no matter what the random lady says)
great success!
from there we drive around looking for any random in-n-out to eat at and somehow end up at the block in the oc, by this time therese and sara have begun using a british accent
after walking around for a tad we find ourselves in the big vans store with the skate park in it
we stay to watch the skaters fall for a while the decide its time to eat
we end up in carls jr and as we eat we explain to sarah, a native texan, the joys of being a californian in socal
and therese decides she wants to get her lips pierced
**nods head** "I do not want to be an accomplice in this" --Therese immitating her cousin Desi
after looking unsuccesfully for a place in the block to achieve this we decide to find it somewhere else
by this time we're ALL using british accents, except markis, whos using a french accent
as we walk to the car we get stopped by two random guys who are in a band, we buy a five dollar cd to support the local band...the cd was crap
after driving around for about 20 minutes, singing loudly to people on the street, we find a random tatoo place in cypress? garden grove? ktf
still using our british/french accents, we tell the man that therese wants her lip pierced
great success!
$40 well spent indeed
no drinking, smoking, making out, or blow jobs for a while :)
as we drive home we decide to yell random things out of the window at people we see on the street...the best being "MY NIPPLES ARE BURNING!!"
it was a great night
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Saturday, August 9, 2008
i gotta say, today was a good day
celebrated my great grandmothers 98th birthday
such a blessing to still have her in my life
so a whole bunch of people that i dont usually get to see
krystal and jherina: love you girls
and met some new people :)
isnt it sad when you have cousins youve never met before :)
i love my family!!
such a blessing to still have her in my life
so a whole bunch of people that i dont usually get to see
krystal and jherina: love you girls
and met some new people :)
isnt it sad when you have cousins youve never met before :)
i love my family!!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
this changed my life and i want to share it with you
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
BARAK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialouge with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was FIrst Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.....
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "This" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "Other Side" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "Current" problems before adding "New" problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn form his mistakes and take falls, which is part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road....
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken to cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was mislead about the chicken's intentions, I am not for it and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks!
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmers market to sell my eggs when the price dropped a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed i've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you'll become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBRA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced as serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR:
...I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned...
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released CHICKEN2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an internal part of the CHICKEN. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#)U%)(#Q%*.......
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun!
its after 5am
and im still awake
usually i wouldnt mind it so much cuz i could just sleep all day
but no
not today
today i have to get up (in 5 hours) for work
i probably wont work past 5 or 6 but still
mine is a job that you shouldnt go to after only a few hours of sleep yakno?
however i dont think im gonna be going to sleep anytime soon
im not tired you see
so ya
theres my lil spiel
love and stuff,
B.A.J
usually i wouldnt mind it so much cuz i could just sleep all day
but no
not today
today i have to get up (in 5 hours) for work
i probably wont work past 5 or 6 but still
mine is a job that you shouldnt go to after only a few hours of sleep yakno?
however i dont think im gonna be going to sleep anytime soon
im not tired you see
so ya
theres my lil spiel
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Sunday, August 3, 2008
so...
i deleted my truth box but not before i read my truths since ive never read them before
i got one that made me cry and i dont know what to do about it
it said "i really hope you dont make chamber singers because youre really fucking annoying"
even though i made chamber it really hurts that someone took the time out of my day to say something like that
and whats more they said it before call backs
thank GOD i didnt see it then...i dont know what i wouldve done if i saw it before call backs
and to know that there is someone out there in chamber right now that really feels that way
and i'll never know who that person is
i got one that made me cry and i dont know what to do about it
it said "i really hope you dont make chamber singers because youre really fucking annoying"
even though i made chamber it really hurts that someone took the time out of my day to say something like that
and whats more they said it before call backs
thank GOD i didnt see it then...i dont know what i wouldve done if i saw it before call backs
and to know that there is someone out there in chamber right now that really feels that way
and i'll never know who that person is
i'll be damned...
...if what im thinking is actually reality
i could be looking too far into this
besides his is really cool
thats why i love him :)
but that would make me angry/jealous/hurt
but alas what can you do
we'll just wait
love and stuff,
B.A.J
i could be looking too far into this
besides his is really cool
thats why i love him :)
but that would make me angry/jealous/hurt
but alas what can you do
we'll just wait
love and stuff,
B.A.J
william terrence fitzgerald!
saturday was fun
is that all you need to know?
no?
must you have details?
fine
so the original plan: J.A.K (james anna kelsey) hang out all day in corona on friday
james has to pick up a shift for someone at chili's
fun day changed to saturday
james invites markis and alissa
james invites danny
what to do?
movies
the mummy?
"eh not really" --Anna
mamma mia
"fuck no" --Danny
dark knight?
"ive seen it" --everyone
BEACH
planned
wake up saturday morning
"blah blah blah stuff later" --Anna
"blah blah blah stuff happening"--Kelsey
anger/frustration/demand to have my way
anna kelsey and danny come for a lil bit to hang out then kelsey and anna leave and james markis and danny go to beach
plan
executed
happy james
drive to newport beach
siren
"am i seriously being pulled over?"--James
"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policewoman
ticket given
siren
"are you serious??"--everyone
"do you know why im pulling you ever?"--Policeman
"no"--james
"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policeman
"but i just got one"-- james
"really? from this city?"-- Policeman
"yupp"-- James
"oh ok you can go then"-- Policeman
BEACH!
the wedge
big waves
body surfing
wave steals lissas shirt
haha
tired
hungry
wet
sandy
back to corona
change
diamond bar
chilis
alissa bday?
kill stephanie?
sing happy birthday
glendora
the hat
ugh
KERMIT THE FROG!
lets leave
drive around the glendora/covina/azusa area
in a circle
scary movies
12:30am
"im tired"--Danny
take him home
back to corona
I LOVE YOU! speech given
talk for a lil while longer
exhausted
bed
ophelia marie gonzales
love and stuff,
B.A.J
is that all you need to know?
no?
must you have details?
fine
so the original plan: J.A.K (james anna kelsey) hang out all day in corona on friday
james has to pick up a shift for someone at chili's
fun day changed to saturday
james invites markis and alissa
james invites danny
what to do?
movies
the mummy?
"eh not really" --Anna
mamma mia
"fuck no" --Danny
dark knight?
"ive seen it" --everyone
BEACH
planned
wake up saturday morning
"blah blah blah stuff later" --Anna
"blah blah blah stuff happening"--Kelsey
anger/frustration/demand to have my way
anna kelsey and danny come for a lil bit to hang out then kelsey and anna leave and james markis and danny go to beach
plan
executed
happy james
drive to newport beach
siren
"am i seriously being pulled over?"--James
"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policewoman
ticket given
siren
"are you serious??"--everyone
"do you know why im pulling you ever?"--Policeman
"no"--james
"blah blah blah cracked windshield"--Policeman
"but i just got one"-- james
"really? from this city?"-- Policeman
"yupp"-- James
"oh ok you can go then"-- Policeman
BEACH!
the wedge
big waves
body surfing
wave steals lissas shirt
haha
tired
hungry
wet
sandy
back to corona
change
diamond bar
chilis
alissa bday?
kill stephanie?
sing happy birthday
glendora
the hat
ugh
KERMIT THE FROG!
lets leave
drive around the glendora/covina/azusa area
in a circle
scary movies
12:30am
"im tired"--Danny
take him home
back to corona
I LOVE YOU! speech given
talk for a lil while longer
exhausted
bed
ophelia marie gonzales
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Friday, August 1, 2008
i want to fall in love
i realize ive never really truly been in love and i want to know what it feels like
i see it all around me all the time
i see the things that people that are in love do
i hear what they say
i want to do those things
to say those things
to hear those things said to me
i want to fall in love
i want someone to fall in love with me
im tired of waiting
i see it all around me all the time
i see the things that people that are in love do
i hear what they say
i want to do those things
to say those things
to hear those things said to me
i want to fall in love
i want someone to fall in love with me
im tired of waiting
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