how low can you go?

my life is in limbo right now.

i have absolutely nothing going for me right now.

i need a job.

i need to finish school.

i need some stability.

i have goals.

but how close am i to achieving them?

i thought i was on the right track but i feel everything slipping away.

i wont be able to stay in school if i dont get a job soon

but if i get a job it'll cut into my school time and so i'll have to cut back on school

thus delaying my departure from mt sac to sfsu? msu?

more things to figure out.

i do know one thing though: alissa.

does that make sense to you?

it does to me.

alissa.

i love her.

she is the one steady thing in my life.

my ultimate best friend.

and she's home.

does it make me selfish that i never want her to leave?

or that wherever she is i kinda wanna be there too?

i could follow...him...to san francisco but would i be happy?

i dont know

the feelings i have might only get stronger and ummm...unrequited love sucks in case you didnt know.

so back to alissa.

i would be happier wherever she is because she is constant.

i know if we do go together to msu we would end up running the place by week 2 lol

but ya

i have decisions to make

and things to do.

first on the list: job.

ready...set...go

im SOOOO over...

...my mother coming in the house complaining about anything and everything.

if youre tired then come home say hello and then go to bed

thatsall you have to do

nothing else

im not sure what you think phrases such as "i want my garage cleaned and your shit out of my house tomorrow" will accomplish

especially since i already cleaned your fucking garage

maybe if you didnt have so much crap in there it wouldnt look so messy

youre fault

we were SUPPOSED to have a garage sale that you canceled at the last minute

so dont come in here yelling at me about a messy garage

find someone else to antagonize

good day!

...him...

i like him...cant help it

ive been telling myself since forever that i shouldnt waste my time

im just chasing pavements basically (im listening that song right now and its perrrrrfect)

so ya

i was kinda over it until recently when he came out to me

i swear i felt my heart skip a beat when he told me

but i know im not his type...he's basically been telling me non-stop for the past ummm...forever

ya

thats my semi-rant of the day

THANK GOD!!!

this semester is finally over!!!


no school and my favorite people in the whole world are coming home!!!


life can truly get not better


well yes it can but were not gonna get into that right now


anywho i am very happy to be done with fall '08