the boys are coming
im going to disneyland
i got the weekend off for kels' bday weekend celebration!
i am pleased!
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
...but not necessarily for myself.
at one point i thought i was on the brink being in love...like really being in love...with someone that loved me...but something went terribly wrong and im not sure what...
it hurt...and it still does when i think about it...and im thinking about it now...
i thought i was over it and that i was ok...thought wrong tho didnt i?
this sucks
love and stuff,
B.A.J
it hurt...and it still does when i think about it...and im thinking about it now...
i thought i was over it and that i was ok...thought wrong tho didnt i?
this sucks
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Saturday, July 5, 2008
hmmm...im not entirely sure how much i care
john and nina are getting married today...its after midnite so i can say today
thats not what im not sure i care about...that part im happy about...weddings are awesome
the part i dont know how much i care about is that i wasnt invited.
i mean i was one of the first people he told after he proposed...but that was only because i was with alissa at the time
we were never really close...we hung out at lunch senior year...but that was because we had a lot of common friends
idk i kinda just thought that i might be invited but im not entirely sure how much i care that i wasnt invited
initially i was hurt about it and considered contacting john to plead my case but then it just didnt seem worth the effort and i was probably gonna start sounding desperate which i really wasnt
i think the thing that bothers me the most is that markis (who is a member of the wedding party) and alissa were both invited and theyre my two best friends and when they get back from the wedding they will have all the fun memories and they will recount them all and i have to sit there and listen to it and wish i was there and not be able to say "stop talking about the wedding" without sounding, and perhaps feeling, all hard-done-by like some little kid that wasnt invited to the party and hasnt gotten over it yet
idk
love and stuff,
B.A.J
thats not what im not sure i care about...that part im happy about...weddings are awesome
the part i dont know how much i care about is that i wasnt invited.
i mean i was one of the first people he told after he proposed...but that was only because i was with alissa at the time
we were never really close...we hung out at lunch senior year...but that was because we had a lot of common friends
idk i kinda just thought that i might be invited but im not entirely sure how much i care that i wasnt invited
initially i was hurt about it and considered contacting john to plead my case but then it just didnt seem worth the effort and i was probably gonna start sounding desperate which i really wasnt
i think the thing that bothers me the most is that markis (who is a member of the wedding party) and alissa were both invited and theyre my two best friends and when they get back from the wedding they will have all the fun memories and they will recount them all and i have to sit there and listen to it and wish i was there and not be able to say "stop talking about the wedding" without sounding, and perhaps feeling, all hard-done-by like some little kid that wasnt invited to the party and hasnt gotten over it yet
idk
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Friday, July 4, 2008
my late night madness
i continue to stay awake into the wee hours of the night for no reason
i really dont mind it when i have nothing to do the next day or i dont work until 5 or something like that
but on the nights when i have to wake up the next morning this is just completely unacceptable
its not that i CANT sleep its that i WONT sleep like i just dont want to...even though there is absolutely NOTHING interesting going on at 3 am
yet i continue my late night madness night after night
frustrate!
love and stuff,
B.A.J
i really dont mind it when i have nothing to do the next day or i dont work until 5 or something like that
but on the nights when i have to wake up the next morning this is just completely unacceptable
its not that i CANT sleep its that i WONT sleep like i just dont want to...even though there is absolutely NOTHING interesting going on at 3 am
yet i continue my late night madness night after night
frustrate!
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
the reason it took me so long to start a blog...
...is because i dont feel like im interesting or deep enough yakno?
im definitely not a profound person...never have been
my life has been relatively blah...no major life changing events
ive had my share of drama of course...but who hasnt
i guess my cousin is right when she says i just dont give a shit and that im nonchalant...
maybe thats why im not a deep person...i never care enough about the events of my life to stress about them
so then what does that mean of you who are "deep"?
do you care too much?
is there such a thing as not enough or too much?
i know people say there is...but what does it really mean to care too much??
a conversation i had earlier with lawren is valid here also
the point of the conversation was this:
weird is in the eye of the beholder, meaning that when someone uses the phrase "weird" in reference to someone else it is meerly saying that the someone else's particular quirks are different than the someone's quirks. everyone is weird in their own little way basically...i guess that was the easier way to say it but whatevs
so my point in bringing that up is to say this: too say that one cares too much or doesnt care enough is simply saying that they do not care as much as or care more than you do...which continues to imply that they SHOULD care as much as you...and is that true?? do we all have to care the same in any given situation? i should think not! that would remove originality from the world...not all originality of course because there is more too being original than just this
but im sure you've gotten my point by now
perhaps i am deep :)
love and stuff,
B.A.J
im definitely not a profound person...never have been
my life has been relatively blah...no major life changing events
ive had my share of drama of course...but who hasnt
i guess my cousin is right when she says i just dont give a shit and that im nonchalant...
maybe thats why im not a deep person...i never care enough about the events of my life to stress about them
so then what does that mean of you who are "deep"?
do you care too much?
is there such a thing as not enough or too much?
i know people say there is...but what does it really mean to care too much??
a conversation i had earlier with lawren is valid here also
the point of the conversation was this:
weird is in the eye of the beholder, meaning that when someone uses the phrase "weird" in reference to someone else it is meerly saying that the someone else's particular quirks are different than the someone's quirks. everyone is weird in their own little way basically...i guess that was the easier way to say it but whatevs
so my point in bringing that up is to say this: too say that one cares too much or doesnt care enough is simply saying that they do not care as much as or care more than you do...which continues to imply that they SHOULD care as much as you...and is that true?? do we all have to care the same in any given situation? i should think not! that would remove originality from the world...not all originality of course because there is more too being original than just this
but im sure you've gotten my point by now
perhaps i am deep :)
love and stuff,
B.A.J
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
corona+lake elsinore+corona+diamond bar+corona
= THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!
seriously!
me markis and alissa just spent several hours driving everywhere and nowhere
doing absolutely nothing fruitful whatsoever
and thats why i love them :)
you know youre best friends when you can spend hours doing absolutely nothing
i love you guys!!!!
love and stuff,
B.A.J
seriously!
me markis and alissa just spent several hours driving everywhere and nowhere
doing absolutely nothing fruitful whatsoever
and thats why i love them :)
you know youre best friends when you can spend hours doing absolutely nothing
i love you guys!!!!
love and stuff,
B.A.J
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